Pappaw

My wife is currently vacationing at her dad's. He remarried a couple of years ago for the third time and relocated to Florida (which apparently he has wanted to do for years). I have begun to understand him more and realize that we are more similar than I ever imagined. He doesn't really like forced or unnatural interaction with people but while I embrace my complexities while attempting to quell my natural inhibitions for the sake of my wife/family, he will not compromise. He has been behaving more in line with his natural proclivities as of late and the new wife is not dealing with the change very well. He chose to present a reformed version of himself to her during the courtship and as of late has allowed this reformation to retard. We all began to believe that he actually had changed and seemed to be genuine in being generally cuddlier in his personality but according to the wife, this may not be the case. He is not capable of bending to the will of others. He is just generally annoyed at things not being as he feels they should. The presence of iron willed son has definitely exacerbated their current situation. My father in law has always lived with women in his adult life and he has a powerful personality. He is accustomed to getting his way in everything. He would even plan each night of the week what they would have for dinner. This detail to minutiae gives him comfort as he needs a high level of control to deal with life. I relate to this compulsion in many ways but also have the foresight to understand that thia action does not lend oneself to fostering productive relationships with the people that you love. You ultimately only have master/slave relationships with resentment dwelling only slightly beneath the surface, hence the 3rd marriage. So anyway it has been interesting for me to see how my wife, who will go to great lengths to keep her father happy, has had to adapt to seeing how son is so much like his father that he bucks at any and all attempts by his beloved Pappaw to break his natural tendencies to be the lil' badass that he is. I personally understand the frustration in that you want to be able to conrtol a small child and that is not to say that I can't but I am conflicted b/c I feel that he should get to experience life on his own terms as long as it isn't gonna get him hurt or hurt someone else. I personally enjoy that the boy sings his "Thomas the Train" songs in the stylings of death metal but Pappaw appaarently not so much. I suppose that the underlying message that has been illuminated to me is that when you love someone you gotta compromise on damn near everything. I watch cartoons all day long, am way more knowledgable about hair care products and make up than any man should be, and up until this week, haven't had a night out with the boys in years. Compromise. The funny part of the thing is that you do all these things so gradually and unconsciously that they seem like a natural progression. When men are alone and being honest, women don't really change us from the boys that they fell in love with but we grow up into the men that we hope that they will wanna grow old with...or I guess you just keep swinging for the fences like Pappaw.